Ruby

In the beginning I was simply an envelope. And then when it was time I was the carrier of a tiny note that was writing its own song even as I slept.

At first you were a word, a quickening heartbeat, a wish, the etch a thin willow makes as it worries the window.

I am here. 

Already you were recreating my histories.

Proof that my body hadn’t failed me, you and I were the tongue to the glue, the glue to the paper. You had been sealed in my luckiest of days.

We walked in Central Park, your father and I, with you lulled by the rhythm of my footsteps. The heel of your foot rested under my rib as we made our way beneath the tall trees that dripped with rain water.

Months earlier we had picked out your name, but now, just days before your arrival, I knew it was something different. Something with fire. And so you became Ruby. Our Ruby. But you had been your own Ruby from the beginning. Brilliant, brimming with life, our dear, charmed girl.

On your 9th birthday I am filled with gratitude. You are my daughter and my teacher. You have made me a better person. You have broken my heart wide open.

I love you to the moon and back.

Here’s a song for you, by Ray Charles.

They say, Ruby you’re like a dream
Not always what you seem
And though my heart may break when I awake
Let it be so, I only know
Ruby, it’s you

They say, Ruby you’re like a song
You just don’t know right from wrong
And in your eyes I see heartaches for me
Right from the start, who stole my heart?
Ruby, it’s you

I hear your voice and I must come to you (must come to you)
I have no choice, so what else can I do ? (what else can I do?)

They say, Ruby you’re like a flame
Into my life you came
And though I should beware, still I just don’t care
You thrill me so, I only know
Ruby, it’s you

(I hear your voice and I must come to you)
(I have no choice, what else can I do ? What can I do?)

They say, Ruby you’re like a flame
Into my life you came
And though I should beware, still I don’t care
You thrill me so, I only know
Ruby, it’s you

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29 thoughts on “Ruby

  1. With every word about your beautiful daughter you touch my heart. What a lucky mom you are and what a lucky little girl she is.

  2. What a precious flower she is. She brightens the whole tin train. And her grandpa’s eyes. And the souls of his friends. A joy to hear him talk of her, and you. Thank you, J.

  3. Jen, this is wonderful and beautiful and touching and worthy of your daughter and well, just awesome.
    I hope we can actually all meet one day. You know I have Marius reserved for Ruby ;)

  4. Clear messages from the heart, well distilled right here for us to read.

    Well captured and majestically remembered – thank you for sharing Ruby so poignantly.

    Happy Birthday!

  5. SImply beautiful. You engrossed me right from “the etch a thin willow makes as it worries the window.” What a lovely tribute to a special girl. Happy birthday Ruby!

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